This issue came across very awkwardly and then something new has entered my head, and given me a new perspective once again. I am no therapist or expert in this subject area, but just only from my observation and experiences has led me to these thoughts.
What would you consider a healthy family relationship? I believe as people grow older they mature and see things in a new way. Maybe better, maybe worst. Does money ever play an effect of how family ties are? Are there things that has happened in the past that you just can't let go and forever change the way you look or interact with your family?
It has always been known that the Canadian culture has encouraged that their kids move out at a certain age. I don't know many people that has done that but even the only person that I can think of, the family ties are very strong, and its more of a tradition and parents wanting their kids to grow up and mature into an adult. Just recently in an article, this trend might not be so popular because of the recession. I guess they can write about anything during recession and how it effects life. I actually don't know this person well, so I cannot really gain anything more out of this.
You had bad memories as a child that you can't for go? I mean it can get really bad and ruin the rest of your life. Like in the Toronto star, they finally sentence the Austria man, whom locked up his daughter for 25 yrs in the basement and admitted to incest. I don't know how that woman can be normal ever again, and what these people went through. Hopefully they are strong enough just to try to look forward to all the good things in life. Something like that I don't think is easily forgiven. Does these bad things happen again and again, I can agree that the family relationship has been torn and very hard to fix, and hatred will come. I don't blame people for not liking their own family or certain members.
Some people do not have an easy life, where the parents spend most of the time working and have little time to spend with their families. It seems that it is very common, and stories you hear on the newspaper and people who made it from the poor tell their stories. All this because of money, once they do obtain financial stability they help out their family. Supporting the family financially is very honorable thing, but does that make you closer to your family? Some people don't have that luxury to financially help their families and I don't think that makes them any less than anyone that does.
I don't know what the perfect family relationship is. Everyone is different, every family has different standards. Maybe they are just as happy for their kids to financially support them and not really spend much time with them since they know they are hard at work. Or its that time of day, where the only time people see each other and converse with each other around the dinner table. I believe that its not the quantity but its the quality of the time you spend with your family. If its fun and enjoyable then time isn't really an issue and time will just pass.
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I've also been following the articles online and in the Toronto Star about the Austria man. I guess the saying is true, "A picture tells a thousand words" He looks very strange and creepy. I read in the Toronto Star today that this man claims to have had a "difficult mother" and childhood with "no friends". I really feel sad for his daughter and their children who will probably never have a normal life. All in all, good points on the topic of Family Relations. I agree that it is quite honorable to support one's family financially.
ReplyDeleteIt was so weird; I first learned about that horrible Austrian man when on the elevator at work. It seemed so surreal and a horrible way to find out about such a terrible thing (riding with strangers, all heading out for coffee or a cigarette - who expected that??!!). I went home and searched online for more information about that situation and it haunted me. From this perspective, what happened there had no relation to 'family'. It had to do with a power/victim relationship. An adult and an innocent. The disparity in knowledge and the total inabaltiy of the daughter to comprehend what was happening to her. I hope that the intrinsic bonds between mother and child will transcend how their bond was created, and their shared love, will guide them through to a better place. I count on that.
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